fuqq what u heard

alright alright......damn idk where do i start lol yall know like i know i can go on for days about a given topic but lately i got some serious issues fuccin wit my mental.as of dis very moment i am watchin real house wives watchin my future ex baby mama lisa do her good girl bad girl thing and i must say she is the only reason why i even bother watchin dis show well dat and nene crazy ass

iight for starter im stucc in this awkward position namean i doubt most of yall know but after high school unlike the rest of my comrades i decided to work and boi did that not work out like i thought it would my roommate flaked on me i lost everything i owned andyour boi was homeless for a couple days......not a good feeling namean so i been trying to build myself up from that lose and trying to get back into school and i am damn near killing myself with this.going to college is something i never gave much thought i grew up in a family where most of them didnt even get a chance to graduate high school so the push for college was never there i didnt have anybody really fueling me up for it namean so it hard trying to wrap my head around picturing my stubborn ass in a college atmosphere but trust and believe ima get der

now after all these years of some real fucced up shit going on in my life i finally had a melt down....me....da nigga that was so level headed and cool breeze about shit i had a nervous breakdown in the middle of the night and when i tell you that was one of the scariest thing ever in my life i didnt know left from right right from wrong i couldnt think straight and my family not knowing what was going on commited me to a fuckin nut house...yea a damn nut house i spent a week in dat mug round some real crazy mufucca and it just made me realize aint shit wrong wit me but mean while im taking dez damn pills and all types of therapy.....shit crazy i didnt tell alot of people namean i aint want nobody to look at me all funny style namean like oh yea i knew you was crazy na it aint nothing like dat....just gettin beat like a slave for most of your life and being told you were never suppose to be born time after time yea dta shit will get to you sooner or later and in my case it took damn near 20 year of hearing the same shit to finally make me snap....so i been dealing with this for about a few months it all happen in may namean so its recent and i been trying to get over this shit but like i said yo...its far from easy

now on a good note i found that special someone in mylife...well not really found she been there for year most yall dont know her but she is the fire to my flame namean i love this woman wit all my heart we doen been thru some situations that was cause any other young couple to split just like that but idk what it is i cant leave her alone....i mean you would think as gorgeous as she is i would never cheat right...wrong i did and i feel like a straight dog for doing her dirty like dat but she didnt do me no better she had a baby....while we was together now i know this may seem like some what the fucc type shit and any man would leave but im not every man namean that gorgeous little girl in my profile...yea dats my heart amirra lashawn jones....her middle name came from my name....crazy huh?.....well yea i been planning my future wit her for years and as of november 23 it will be 7 years of loving laughin crying and pain and i wouldnt change anything if i could.and although we havent been able to spend much time with each other i still wait for that day i can kiss her hold her and tell her how much she means to me and that day will come soon.....very soon

now im stucc in between a rocc and a hard place....as most may know me and my moms arent the perfect mother son couple ya dig to be honest i treat her like she is just another human being sad but true i have no choice the love that should be there was never formed so idk exactly how to love her and with that its hard for me to even be in this house like i been givin it some thought if i should move to NC wit my pops after i get out of job corps and just try and get on my feet out there or continue to put up with the bs i get here in this house.idk what to do im all types of confused i wish there was a way i can just get 5 stacks and start my life namean but i know like we all know that shit aint bout to happen tomorrow i gotta start somewhere....so im lookin at NC like a fresh start and my girl is behind me along wit a few people that know my situation and i just think it may be a good move...what you think?

damn i can really go on for days about all my problems and how fucced up shit is and how i wish it was better but im not bout to do that i just need to geta few things off my chest before my heart explode namean. well im tune into this roast on comedy central and try to squeeze out a few laughs for the night and pray for the best