Broken

as i sit near the window
the moonlight pears throught the blinds
the shine catches the clipse of my face and highlights the tracks of my tears
i have been crying over the lost of you wishing i could have you back
as i sip my Hennessey and pull a drag out the green
i try to drown away my sorrow with the finer things in life
my heart resembles a shattered window crashed in by the force of a thunderous blow
my body is weak and my mind seems to float from thought to thought
i cant seem to focus
i open the window to breath in the cool night air
i take a deep breath refreshing my lung through all the haze smoke and warm liquor
i dont know which way is up i have fallen so far
the scene replays in my head
i recall you standing in the middle of the living room your eyes filled to the brim with tears
your voice is shriek and all i can hear is screams and cursing
"How could you"..........."How dare you".......
words choked up by tears
"You cheated".....is all you can make out
as i stand there wish a look of shock
a million things running through my mind
"How did she find out"....."Where is this coming from"
im so taken aback by the screams and shouts i quickly lose focus
i can stop crying
why did i have to take that risk
i should have said no
she wasnt even that pretty
so many things are racing through my mind
i sip my drink
the liquor warms my cold bones and revives my spirit
i am so broken
there is no real way to express my true hurt
and to beg for forgiveness is useless
whats done is done
and no words can be said to take back the hurt and heal the pain
i am broken